Instead of condemning, validation, specific behavioral pointers, and joint solutions help: recognize feelings, praise individual strengths, gradually hand over responsibility, and involve children in decisions. This fosters self-confidence rather than shame.
A personal encounter in the garden illustrates this: Instead of offering platitudes, I asked my niece how she felt about the withering flowers. The questioning strengthened her feeling of being seen - a simple, but effective moment.
Begin to examine your words - for a healthier bond and stronger children.